Why I am no longer a Catholic feminist
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Disclaimer: (Because I clearly must.)
Dear Sisters…
This post is not about you, it’s about me. It’s not about your friend (or podcaster/author/artist) who calls herself a Catholic feminist. It’s about the public positions I have taken in the past and need to correct. It is about that article I wrote about why I identified as a “Catholic feminist”…and why I have changed my mind.
It is not your humiliation. It is mine. I write publicly and occasionally influence people. And in justice, I need to make a correction. If you think what I write is stupid and harmful, then write your own experience or just don’t share. But be mindful to respectfully address ideas instead of people.
We are not automatons. We should be free to discuss and grapple with these ideas within community without having our feelings perpetually hurt by varying opinions. Peace.
I LEFT FEMINISM FOR CHRIST…
I was raised into feminist activism and eagerly stepped into the label. I repeated the anthems of the movement and embraced its heroes. I adored the moderns like Sanger, Steinem, Daly, and generations of women who beat an angry drum against patriarchy, injustice, inequality, and moral boundaries.
I believed the rhetoric and I was angry. Fed up. Righteous. Perpetually ready for battle.
When I was forced to attend Mass in Catholic high school, I would stare defiantly at the man called "priest" and change the words of all prayers of humility...
" I AM worthy to receive...you stupid old man."
The message and pounding fierceness of the feminist movement impacted the way I saw all people. It placed my own sense of offense and self-preservation at the center of my universe, successfully interfering with my acceptance of the fatherhood of God.
I was 15-years old and the youngest person in an auditorium of hundreds when I saw notorious feminist, Gloria Steinem, speak. She spoke passionately about feminism and “glass ceilings” to a full house of cheering middle-aged women in business suits. I didn’t fit in even then…but I always figured I could do feminism better than the old ladies.
And yet that angry and united cry of feminism is how I learned about who I was and how I was to view others. From the mouths and pens of prominent feminists to my young mind and soul, the message of feminism permeated my formation. It was inevitable that, in my anger and distorted view of personal dignity, I would also develop a hatred of self, particularly when even feminism failed to protect me from the various injustices and abuses of a largely post-Christian culture. And sometimes, when its proponents were the ones inflicting the wounds.
I won’t get into a discussion of the origins of feminism here. It is irrelevant to my point. The culture has shifted and much damage has been done. And we must face the present devastation, not quibble over beginnings which were never rooted in a Christian worldview even if they were a response to true injustice. If we are going to fight for a restoration, let it not to be to elevate human ideals but to bring Christ the Healer into the center of the wound.
I will always stand with feminists when they fight against true injustice. But feminism invariably goes further in its demands and is inherently spiritual in its elevation of self and overshadowing (or suppressing) of other. Ultimately, there are no other gods and no other persons. And “injustice” is a flexible term which shifts depending on the agenda of the feminist. There is no foundational belief in the dignity of all people.
The unity is a sham. A political ruse. Which often ends in brokenness and frankly, abortion.
I saw first hand the impact of feminism on the Church, well before I loved the Church. I witnessed the anger against the “outdated patriarchy” and saw women working actively within the Church for change. Feminists demanded greater participation for women and took it at every opportunity while simultaneously engaging in pagan ritual, promotion of abortion, and a rejection of a masculine God. This was feminist narcissism at its most deceptive and destructive:
“I don’t really believe what you believe…but I will dedicate my life to pretending to so that I can make you into my own image. Or destroy you.”
If you aren’t familiar with the history of deliberate damage done by feminists in the Church, you will benefit from reading the books Ungodly Rage and The Anti-Mary Exposed. The devastating effect of feminism on the Church is not exaggerated. The reality is shocking.
Feminists have made St. Therese the patron of women priests, Mary Magdalene the erotic lover of Jesus, St Hildegard into a sorceress, and elevated abortion into a sacrament. Feminism has no place in the Church…but it is what I believed and followed.
TRANSFORMATION
Then in my young adulthood, the Holy Spirit flooded my life like a tsunami. I was helpless against the breathtaking power of Truth and joy. For the first time, I understood the true magnificence of my womanhood and rejoiced at a new shocking freedom and illumination. My feminist mask was revealed for what it was...a sham, a reflection of the spirit of anti-Christ. Empty, distorted, angry, self-worshipping, and suffering bitterly without purpose.
Deeply broken by the circumstances of life and my own bad choices, I was pieced back together by the love of a man (my future husband), who led me straight to the Source of all healing. With my feminist mask shattered, I was able to open myself up to the fatherhood of God and the person of Jesus Christ. My angry fists relaxed and I learned to pray on my knees without a spirit of defiance or unholy fear.
The process of conversion has been a long and slow turning. But reading Pope John Paul II’s "Mulieris Dignitatem" (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women) was a milestone which inspired me to release the last hold that feminism had on my mind and allowed healing and restoration to begin.
"I am woman, hear me roar" became "To serve is to reign" and my heart fell into a deep well of joy, grace, and peace. My feminism was transformed into "feminine genius" and my angry battle cry into a shower of grateful tears.
Feminism is not just a political identity. It isn’t just a concise way of saying “I care about women and oppose injustice.” It is a spiritual movement of the enemy of God. This is what I did not understand when I embraced it again as a Catholic. (More on that shortly.)
I remain an activist of sorts. I weep and lose sleep over injustice. But I continually strive to place that at the foot of the cross instead of at the altar of my own passions. I have been made new in Christ and I take to heart the words of JPII: “One must arrange one’s life so that everything praises God.” It is too easy to let anger supplant the Gospel. The fight against social evil must be accompanied by an equally vigorous battle against self.
FREEDOM
Femininity is God’s creativity uniquely expressed through woman. Feminism is a political movement. Femininity expresses womanly attributes rooted in natural law. Feminism is a set of demands rooted in a malleable and relative vision of justice. Femininity is freedom to fully pursue the vocation of womanhood in the service of others. Feminism encourages women to fear generous self-donation.
As I became more Gospel-focused, my femininity became apolitical…
Transcending activism.
Outlasting culture battles.
Silencing identity politics masquerading as social justice.
Softening an ungodly spirit of rage and discontent.
I was free. And I abandoned the term "feminism" completely for 18 years.
A RETURN TO FEMINISM
In spite of my reticence to be associated in any way with the terminology of feminism, the words of good women convinced me that a new feminism (one that revealed the light of Humane Vitae) was consistent with my Christian understanding of womanhood.
I saw it as a possible antidote and a legitimate expression of the heart of femininity. It wasn’t that I thought the Gospel was deficient but I found that, practically speaking, the Church as a community was failing to teach women the beauty of God’s design for their vocations and bodies. (I still find that many Catholic communities remain ignorant of these things.)
I was reluctant because I saw that the terminology would be misunderstood by almost everyone and that it could lead to a false association with secular feminism. That possibility was horrible to me but the vision of an integrated, holistic, natural, Christ-centered activism was incredibly compelling.
I thought that I could be a part of that even though I knew that it would have to be on the level of individual conversion instead of a mass movement. I had been in the ocean of feminism and knew that it could not be displaced through dialogue or clever marketing. This “new feminism” would have to light a fire from within souls and minds, one person at a time; not with the realistic goal of overtaking the culture but with loving others the Gospel way. The slow way.
When JPII called for a “new feminism,” I never misunderstood him to be calling for a literal movement of Catholic feminists. He was calling for a renewal, an antidote, a return to the heart of the Gospel. He used the term “new feminism” in the much broader context of a Catholic vision of womanhood. He wasn’t supplanting the Gospel but illuminating it and using the term “new feminism” (once) to highlight that this was to be an antidote to a specific and harmful ideology.
I wrote publicly: “I knew that I would always be a feminist insofar as it means that I decry injustice against women and all human beings and promote a culture of life-giving love…and here I am. A New Feminist. Because I believe that women do need a strong voice, a political voice, an activist voice — to defend our inherent right to holistic, life-giving choices in all stages of life.”
He didn’t tell us to start a new club within the Church. He didn’t elevate feminism. He told us to open our eyes to the Truth which was already given to us.
So I embraced the vision of new feminism but remained hesitant about the label “feminist.” To be completely transparent, I used it quite liberally for a time, primarily when talking to secular feminists, because I felt it gave us common ground. I thought it gave me some street cred and authority. If I called myself a “feminist,” they couldn’t just write me off as some sappy Christian.
But the full truth is that many secular feminists were turned off by what they saw as a misapplication of the term. It was mostly only the Catholics who thought it was cool. And on reflection, I see that it was more effective to find common ground without the term, speaking directly with love and sincerity.
I started out saying things like…
“Well, I’m a feminist, too! And I defend the rights of ALL women regardless of age, location, health, or wantedness.”
But I found that this provoked other women to become defensive and to see me as a traitor to feminism. The terminology was a greater obstacle to their openness than leaving it behind because they were preoccupied with what they saw as an attack on their own identity. It would be similar to how a Christian would react if someone argued against the Resurrection while identifying as a Christian. We would not only reject their argument but also their label.
I found much better opportunity for dialogue by saying:
“I applaud your commitment to defending the rights of women! We share that passion. Let’s talk about the rights of ALL women, regardless of age, location, health, or wantedness.”
Eventually, I left the term “feminist” out of the discussion completely because it gave an impression I didn’t want it to give. It took too much time to explain the points of departure. It also caused others to easily lump me into a political group (including a variety of social issues) with which I didn’t necessarily agree.
So I simplified: I love all women and I oppose injustice.
LEAVING FEMINISM AGAIN
So I again left the term “feminism” behind. But not before I wrote an article in 2015 defending “Catholic feminism” and using the term publicly many times. I received much positive feedback from that article and this post is, in large part, a public correction of my own story. I am not afraid of being wrong and of changing, although it certainly can be a blow to the old ego. But…
I'm setting feminism down again.
I no longer believe that our culture can handle two competing feminisms. It’s possible, I suppose. In a perfect world. But if we lived in a perfect world, we certainly wouldn’t need feminism in any form.
The real battle is between the anti-Christian spirit of feminism and the Gospel. We cannot fight feminism if we unite to it. And it must be opposed.
The problem with having two forms of feminism is that they tend to melt and bleed into one another, complicating and confusing young and old alike with an agenda which depletes freedom. If we adopt the label, we become part of the whole movement in some way. It isn’t optional. Most people in the secular movement are not interested in nor capable of nuance. They have put themselves on autopilot for a cause and will not be deterred.
But it doesn’t really mean liberation for all. It just bands people together under an amorphous sense of justice which usually includes the killing of unborn and elevating self above others. Some feminists oppose porn and some promote it. They want protection for women but many will not oppose the horrific abuses of Islam or men taking over women’s sports. There isn’t really a unity in anything except a drum beat of defiance and anger. Sometimes it protects. Sometimes it destroys. But it only ever stands for itself.
This reality was recently illustrated perfectly in the image of a Hollywood celebrity boasting of her abortion in front of millions of people…while also pregnant with an unborn child. It is a diabolical spirit which infects us with rage, fear, and hatred. Directed at both self and others. She is clearly a victim of a demonic culture which perpetuates violence against women and children…and she is also an abuser. It is the diabolical cycle of feminism.
With Christian feminists whose passion for the dignity of all people is rightly ordered, the message of the Gospel is invariably diluted, not through intention, but by association and emphasis. I applaud the work of pro-life feminists who are engaged like warriors in the arena…but I also see how they struggle to stay rooted in their own faith, some publicly leaving Christ entirely.
They have underestimated the danger of the battle.
I used to think it might work to water down the sometimes shocking clarity of the Gospel in order to meet people where they are at. Then I actually read Scripture. There is no social justice movement more radical than the Gospel. If we water it down, it ceases to be Christian.
I briefly wrote for an organization which promoted a “new feminism” and I believed in the mission. I still have a picture of myself wearing a New Feminism t-shirt on my private Instagram page. I was all in with their truly beautiful vision. But eventually, I was told to stop including my faith in my writing. We parted ways (because I’m a little old and busy for that kind of silliness) and I had more free time to reflect. Eventually, I knew…
The message of the Gospel is sufficient. How does reducing the Gospel and highlighting feminism ever advance the healing of humanity? We can be nuanced, considerate, patient, sensitive, and prudent in our expression of faith…but we can not place it second and retain it or truly witness to Truth.
The Gospel is sufficient. And it encompasses the whole truth about who we are as individuals and how we are to be valued by others. There is no straighter path to a transformed culture. Hiding it or disguising it only confuses and delays the illumination of truth and authentic freedom. Feminism inevitably challenges us to compromise. But not in a righteous way. And I am noticing an increasing tendency among younger Catholic feminists to buy into the anger and identity politics.
Some are quite young and I know they didn’t live through the more direct assault of the post-conciliar feminism. The angry nuns were already mostly gone from their schools. The Chittisters and Schenks and Nuns on the Bus were probably not part of their adult Catholic experience in a way they understood.
When I recently saw a book by Joan Chittister on the Instagram page of a Catholic influencer (who markets herself as a spiritual teacher), I knew that it was time to speak up. Feminist spirituality is experiencing a new heyday and the generational gap of ignorance needs to be addressed.
FEMINISM CANNOT BE THE ANSWER
I’m writing now to correct my own public error. To sound a warning that this collective movement of Catholic feminism often reflects the secular in its tone, associations, and bitterness. Women are following influencers whose idea of feminism does not fully reflect the spirit of JPII but departs into a vision of defiant agenda. It’s a creeping thing but it is happening. Like an infection…some people in the body are well enough because their immune system is strong and supported, but others are being overtaken.
The ones recently who have left the Church formally and who are on the verge of leaving? All feminists. Some have left Christ entirely. Most remain in the Church, working subversively like their forebears to change the direction, not only of abuses, but also of the truth. They want their own vision of Church.
Disclaimer #2: I am not attacking individuals. I am attacking a false ideology. I am sounding an alarm so that people of good faith do not slip down a path they do not actually desire to follow. If you can retain the label of “feminist” without falling to the pitfalls of the ideology, I do not oppose you.
I don’t buy that feminism is somehow kinder, gentler, more compassionate, more welcoming, more understanding, more freeing, more compatible, more relatable than the truth of Jesus Christ. If you think those things are true, then you are either doing the Gospel wrong or have had it modeled poorly for you.
Feminism is only a political movement because of sin. Because mankind refused to live according to Christian principles and with a radical commitment to others in service and love. It was a practical response to injustice and frankly, I understand the roots. I get angry at injustice. Sometimes passionately angry. I recognize the deeply imbedded and harmful cultural patterns which impact women in the world and in the institutional Church. I am horrified at the abuse tolerated by our culture. And more deeply horrified at the SILENCE of a suffering Church in the hands of abusive and self-serving clerics.
However, feminism is not the answer, even when it wears a Catholic label.
I don't want to be any kind of feminist anymore. It confuses people. I see the kind of damage it is doing to otherwise faithful Catholic women. It sows ingratitude. It whispers that we need something more than Christ. It promises an economic and political solution to a sin problem. It tickles the ear with Marxist ideas disguised as spiritual ponderings and barely conceals its hatred of humanity.
But I know who I am...
I am a woman. Made in the Imago Dei. Living the Gospel mandate to serve God and others. I am a Catholic. I try to live an integrated life in which I absolutely bring my faith to the public square and raise my voice against injustice. I will stand against that sin with my sisters who take the feminist label. But I will not again wear the label myself.
When someone thinks of me, I want them to think that I am a servant of Jesus Christ and His Church. Without competing descriptors or adjectives. And that is also how I wish to meet the Lord.
In Christ alone. I am free. I am content. Thanks be to God.
Final disclaimer: This is my story, not yours. If you think this is about you, you’re wrong. But if you want to take the ideas and struggle with them and apply them and come to your own conclusions with intelligence, openness and vigor? Have at it. That sounds like authentic Catholic womanhood to me.
